when midnight has left me stranded and I search my phone like a bedlamite trying to find someone to talk to like if I don’t say what I want to say I’ll die in that same breath so I keep moving my finger against my sticky screen and attempt to find someone who isn’t asleep or out having fun because ruining someone’s night with my problems is so much worse than dying so I keep scrolling and swiping and tapping and moving that finger until I reach the inevitable conclusion that there is no one for me right now and that has to be fine so I’ll just take a minute and slowly sit down outside this 7-11 and wait for the worker to let me in praying that maybe he’ll speak to me so I won’t actually die holding in this hopeless breath that feels like a sneeze and I tell myself that I won’t be scared of those people also waiting to be let in because maybe they’re just like me waiting for someone to let them talk and if anything I should be able to understand that more than anyone else