when midnight has left me stranded and I search my phone like a mad man trying to find someone to talk to like if I don’t say what I want to say I’ll die in that same breath so I keep moving my finger against my sticky screen and attempt to find someone who isn’t asleep or out having fun because ruining someone’s night with my problems is so much worse than dying so I keep scrolling and swiping and taping and moving that finger until I reach the inevitable conclusion that there is no one for me right now and that’s probably fine so I’ll just take a minute and sit down outside this 7-11 and wait for the worker to let me in hoping that maybe he’ll speak to me so I won’t actually die holding in this breath that feels like a sneeze and I tell myself that I won’t be scared of those people also waiting to be let in because maybe they’re just like me waiting for someone to let them talk